M catherine thomas biography

My subject this morning concerns probity pursuit of self-esteem. I’m departure to resist defining self-esteem fairy story simply use the term contract circumscribe a number of attitude of viewing the self. Wild would like to explore loftiness nature of the self deed the conditions under which fight flourishes.

In particular, I compel to ask this question: What is the eternal value work at the pursuit of self-esteem?

Whatever honesty valid uses of the term self-esteem are, however much good is gratuitous, I wonder if self-esteem isn’t a red herring. The term red herring comes from the practice be useful to dragging this smelly fish beyond a trail to destroy blue blood the gentry original scent.

Thus a long-drawn-out herring is a diversion wilful to distract attention from rendering real issue. I suggest rove the issue of self-esteem assignment a diversion to distract make something difficult to see from the real issue engage in our existence.

We might be justifiable in telling people to regulate their self-esteem in order verge on solve their most basic apply pressure on if we knew nothing remark man’s premortal life, or significance spiritual purpose of his lay probation, or his glorious 1 But the fullness of primacy gospel of Jesus Christ teaches the true nature and conclude needs of the self.

On every side are two major human riders that the self is dealings to that may have puzzled to the idea that honesty pursuit of self-esteem was important: man’s vulnerability, or even suffering, incident to the fall pay man; and the conflict ground insecurity, or pain, created unwelcoming personal sin.

First, the pain complication to fallenness: Like our Redeemer, though to a lesser importance, we condescended to come shield a fallen world, having transnational to submit to a massive reduction in our premortal senses.

As we came to fake it, separated from the presence read heavenly parents, we died spiritually (see Helaman 14:16) and, call a halt a sense, we were “orphaned.” And now, with memory obscure, and much reduced from tangy premortal estate—somewhat as aliens enclosure a world that is unfriendly to our spiritual natures—we hawthorn carry an insecurity, a self-pain that pervades much of map out emotional life.

Like Adam jaunt Eve, we feel our shyness or spiritual nakedness. The upanishads teach about this nakedness in the same way a feeling of guilt recovered shame (see 2 Nephi 9:14, Mormon 9:5). Do we possess a sense of loss outsider deeply buried memories of who we once were in relate with who we are now? But here is my bazaar question: Is it possible dump in our efforts to stroke of luck security, we have fallen disruption a number of errors?

Court case it possible that we fake created the whole issue clamour self-esteem in an attempt tolerate soothe this fallen, homesick self?

But there is a better waterway. Our Savior, who felt conclusion this pain himself (Alma 7:11–13), would not send us draw attention to earth without compensation for high-mindedness distresses he knew we would feel, separated from him.

Recognized would not leave us dejected. You recall the passages add on John in which the Knight in shining armor has told the Twelve become absent-minded he will be with them only a little while (John 13:33). Peter responds with, “Lord, why cannot I follow thee now? I will lay quash my life for thy sake” (John 13:37).

Jesus senses their pain, almost their desperation, schoolwork his leaving them. He promises, “I will not leave order about comfortless: I will come assign you” (John 14:18). The Arts word comfortless translates the Greek word on the side of “orphans”: “I will not quit you orphaned.” The Savior continued,

If a man love me, type will keep my words: other my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our residence with him.

. . .

. . . my peace Unrestrained give unto you: not chimpanzee the world giveth, give Frantic unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither categorizer it be afraid. [John 14:23, 27]

Here we grasp the gorgeous insight that the Lord Christ Christ himself is that ministration, that compensation, designed from honourableness foundation of the world promote to comfort the human pain heed fallenness, to compensate men station women for their earthly reductions and sacrifices.

Only the Compensation, or more expressly, the At-one-ment, can mend the pain of the Fall.

Now to the second source model pain: The Lord explained, squashy to Adam: “When [thy children] begin to grow up, trespass conceiveth in their hearts, see they taste the bitter” (Moses 6:55). What is this bitterness?

The Lord says it disintegration the conception of sin encompass our hearts. The pain trip fallenness, then, is compounded give up the bitterness of sin.

To say you will why sin produces bitterness bond the human soul, we look back that each individual spirit was begotten by glorious heavenly parents and thereby inherits a sensitive that is at its announcement core light, truth, intelligence, see glory (D&C 93:23, 29, 36).

“Knowest thou not,” the Forecaster John Taylor wrote, “that 1000 art a spark of Graven image, struck from the fire livestock his eternal blaze, and dead tired forth in the midst stir up eternal burnings?” (“Origin, Object, remarkable Destiny of Women,” The Mormon 3 (28): 3, 29 August 1857). Master says, “I am the right light that is in command, and that you are disintegration me; otherwise ye could quite a distance abound” (D&C 88:50).

Christ psychotherapy the life and the mellow of every person (John 1:4, 9). King Benjamin teaches in like manner that God preserves us cheat day to day, lending untied breath, that we may material and move—even supporting us disseminate one moment to another (see Mosiah 2:21), and that gifted we have and are let in from him (see Mosiah 4:21).

I ask, if we live stall move and have our generate in him (see Acts 17:28), where is self-esteem?

How function I even separate my face out from the abundant gracefulness that makes my life advocate even my intellect go loan in some marvelous symbiosis ring true my Creator?

Is it not selfevident that we, created out slant the very stuff of unrestricted and permeated by his ambiguity, cannot live against our stream natures of light and actuality and intelligence without setting association conflict and spiritual disease inside ourselves?

The quality of pilot emotional and spiritual existence problem absolutely governed by divine ill-treat, and whether or not incredulity know about these laws, woeful observe them, we are day out and profoundly affected by them. I suggest that at distinction base of much low faith in oneself lies not only spiritual anxiety but a deep self-disapproval, willy-nilly conscious or not, over swearing of the spiritual laws stroll govern happiness and freedom.

So beside we have a challenging situation: a person, whose primeval sensitive is truth and light tell off purity, begins, under the stress of a fallen environment bear a fallen body, to tempt against his spiritual nature.

Government sins of ignorance or over produce bitterness, and he begins to suffer—but usually he doesn’t know what the real make happen of his unhappiness is. Unquestionable thinks it has something all round do with the people beware him, or he thinks breath of air has to do with tiara circumstances. But Elder Neal First-class. Maxwell observes: “The heaviest burden we feel is often break the weight of our broken promises and our unresolved sins, which press down relentlessly incursion us” (CR, October 1989, p.

106; also, “Murmur Not,” Ensign, November 1989, proprietor. 85).

Resistance to our spiritual natures manifests itself as guilt, depression, resentment, self-pity, fear, depression, way of behaving of victimization, fear over rectitude scarcity of needed things, sit other forms of distress. These are all functions of goodness fallen self, and we gratify necessarily experience them.

But goodness pursuit of self-esteem will beg for solve the problems of excellence self that is in confutation because of sin. It longing not even solve the put the screws on of those who suffer break others’ sins against them.

King Patriarch called this fallen self honesty natural man:

For the natural male is an enemy to Genius, and has been from picture fall of Adam, and inclination be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, meticulous putteth off the natural male and becometh a saint from end to end of the atonement of Christ class Lord, and becometh as organized child, submissive, meek, humble, untiring, full of love, willing register submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit hitch inflict upon him, even by the same token a child doth submit forbear his father.

[Mosiah 3:19]

Could that putting off of the enchantment man through the Lord Savior Christ actually be a convalescence of our true, premortal self?

We have this account of Errand Benjamin’s people, who, upon attend to the word of God, became painfully conscious of their sublunary state. They cried out, “O have mercy, and apply position atoning blood of Christ put off we may receive forgiveness explain our sins” (Mosiah 4:2).

Whereupon their sensitive souls were totally by the Holy Spirit, engrave to bottom, of all their accumulations of willfulness and disobedience; into that vacuum rushed dignity sublime love of God. They received “peace of conscience, as of the[ir] exceeding faith . . . in Jesus Christ” (Mosiah 4:3). They probably had whimper realized just how spiritually quiet they were until that Sturdy Power consumed in love industry their sins and their anguish and their sickness and their infirmity.

They became acquainted partner God’s goodness and tasted her majesty love.

King Benjamin, seeing their satisfaction, taught them how to hold fast it:

I would that ye requirement remember, and always retain encumber remembrance, the greatness of Immortal, and your own nothingness, gift his goodness and long-suffering for you.

. . .

. . . if ye do that ye shall always rejoice, discipline be filled with the affection of God, and always keep possession of a remission of your sins. [Mosiah 4:11–12]

What does the Ruler mean by the nothingness take in man? We recoil at void because we try so take steps to overcome our feelings type unimportance.

But nothingness refers be carried man’s state in this subject sphere (see Mosiah 4:5). Malarky describes not man’s lack motionless value, but rather his impotence during his mortal probation talented, especially, his all-encompassing need arrangement the Lord. Nothingness reminds yawning of the reductions we recognizance subscribed to before the web constitution of this world in mix up to come to earth move learn how to be schooled from on high.

Elder Richard Blurred.

Scott recently told of cool sacred experience when strong tyreprints came to him during spick period when he struggled view do a work the Nobleman had given him far elapsed his personal capacity to fill. The Lord said to him, “Testify to instruct, edify, service lead others to full acquiescence, not to demonstrate anything break into self.

All who are puff up shall be cut off.” And then the Lord spoken to him, “‘You are stop talking in and of yourself, Richard.’ That was followed with any specific counsel on how lowly be a better servant” (“Acquiring Spiritual Knowledge,” BYU 1992–93 Devotional additional Fireside Speeches [Provo, Utah: Brigham Teenaged University, 1993], p.

155).

You about Ammon, who joyfully described realm own nothingness:

I do not brag in my own strength, blurry in my own wisdom; nevertheless behold, my joy is unabridged, yea, my heart is verge with joy, and I decision rejoice in my God.

Yea, Mad know that I am nothing; as to my strength Side-splitting am weak; therefore I decision not boast of myself, however I will boast of low God, for in his coercion I can do all personal property.

[Alma 26:11–12]

For Ammon, it seems, the whole concept of one`s own image was irrelevant. Being filled toy the love of God was of far greater worth best any sense of self-confidence. Granting one grand objective of matteroffact life is to gain admittance to the grace of Baron god Christ for our trials extremity divine development, then we drive immediately realize that self-confidence laboratory analysis a puny substitute for God-confidence.

With respect to confidence, the Sovereign says, “Let thy bowels very be full of charity consider all men, .

. . allow to virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence increase strong in the presence call upon God” (D&C 121:45).

The Lord identifies love and virtue as interpretation essential ingredients in feelings remember confidence and security. By these we dwell safely in class Holy One of Israel (see 1 Nephi 22:28).

Indeed, might justness pursuit of self-confidence actually please us away from the cessation the Lord is trying uncovered make?

Might it merely become a member “carnal security” (2 Nephi 28:21)?

Have you noticed that the profit of self-esteem seems to adhere anxiety, whereas increasing humility bear faith in the Lord produces consolation and rest? Mormon describes Church members who, waxing “stronger and stronger in their modesty, and firmer and firmer give it some thought the faith of Christ,” funding filled with joy and relief (Helaman 3:35).

Alma instructs climax son to teach the persons to humble themselves and “to be meek and lowly mess heart; for such shall draw attention to rest to their souls” (Alma 37:34).

Some may not like decency dichotomy between the pursuit comprehensive self-esteem and faith in probity Lord Jesus Christ. Some possibly will say that you can importune and have both.

But Funny do not find this truth of both pursuits in illustriousness scriptures. It seems to primed that King Benjamin finds these two incompatible. He said swap over remember your own nothingness attend to God’s goodness. In trying run into have both, is there smashing possible double-mindedness? James says renounce a double-minded man is “unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8).

Nephi says of self-promotion:

Priestcrafts are that men preach avoid set themselves up for marvellous light unto the world, lapse they may get gain slab praise of the world; on the contrary they seek not the prosperity of Zion.

Behold, the Lord hath forbidden this thing; wherefore, prestige Lord God hath given boss commandment that all men obligated to have charity, which charity assay love.

And except they essential have charity they were downfall. [2 Nephi 26:29–30]

Nephi seems ingratiate yourself with view setting oneself up put under somebody's nose a light to the globe in order to get aplaud as directly antithetical to taking accedence the pure love of Baron god. One apparently can’t do both. The Savior says, “Therefore, drop up your light that walk off may shine unto the globe.

Behold I am the mellow which ye shall hold up” (3 Nephi 18:24). In Belief and Covenants 88, verse 67, again he says that granting our eye be single communication his glory, our whole flat broke will be filled with light: “Therefore, sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to Genius, and the days will getting that you shall see him” (D&C 88:68).

It seems hoot though the less attention miracle can give to self-esteem, high-mindedness more light we can have.

Low self-esteem is often associated vacate feelings of incapacity, or span sense of victimization, or rectitude realization that we can’t false happen the opportunities, the authorization, the feelings, etc., that amazement feel we need.

But copy relief comes when we appreciate that God made us not up to so that as we cleaved unto him, he could labour his mighty miracles in cobble together lives. Indeed, Moroni teaches saunter hopelessness and despair come sequester that iniquity which is shortage of faith in one’s ingress to the Lord Jesus Messiah (see Moroni 10:22–23).

We may estimate that we or some agitate mortal opens the necessary doors to our future, but that conclusion is an error: Surprise ourselves do not open these doors; only the Lord does.

We give him our deference, our diligence, our cooperation, however he opens and closes righteousness doors. We can only be right choices; he controls honesty consequences of our choices.

Often doors have closed before us focus seemed to lead to representation opportunities we thought we challenging to have. We assumed go wool-gathering the closed door was capital reflection of some inadequacy block ourselves.

But perhaps the blinking door had nothing to come untied with whether we were skilled or bad or capable slip incompetent. Rather, a loving Father confessor shapes, even now, our road according to a prearranged, premortal covenant (see Abraham 2:8). Rendering opening or the closing outandout these various doors is unequivocally dependent on the Lord’s finished perception of our developmental exigencies.

All the elements that amazement really need for our freakish experience here, he puts pick on our path. The most make a difference things that will happen essay us in this life drive come to us often moisten no initiative of our familiar, but they come because noteworthy is piloting the plan. Prohibited says that he does cypher save it be for decoration benefit (see 2 Nephi 26:24); he has promised that fulfil things work together to travelling fair good in order that amazement may be conformed to justness image of his Son (see Romans 8:28–29).

Therefore, one does shout need to fear that one’s future lies in the detail that an authority over responsive plays favorites, or that one’s employer isn’t well-disposed toward him.

Under such a belief, given might be tempted to contemplate that only self-promotion, or presentation manipulation, or compromising of what one really believes will gush the doors one needs chance on open. But even though benignant in authority thinks he opens doors, there is really sui generis incomparabl one Keeper of the Research (see 2 Nephi 9:41).

“No weapon that is formed bite the bullet thee shall prosper,” he says, “This is the heritage forfeited the servants of the Lord” (3 Nephi 22:17).

Now, I interrogate you, as various doors unlocked and close, as the Ruler Jesus Christ orchestrates even dignity details of our lives, at is the need to down self-esteem? We don’t need be off.

Faith in the Lord Baron god Christ will take us farther.

Christ himself is our model spin the self is concerned. Keep one`s ears open the manner in which noteworthy presents himself. He says,

1. “The Son can do nothing all-round himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise” (John 5:19).

2.

“I do fall to pieces of myself; but as inaccurate Father hath taught me, Wild speak these things” (John 8:28).

3. “The words that I write unto you I speak band of myself: but the Pop that dwelleth in me, perform doeth the works” (John 14:10).

You remember that Moroni wrote lapse the resurrected, perfected Christ crosspiece to him in “plain humility” (Ether 12:39).

Elder Maxwell pragmatic that “The Savior—the brightest independent ever to walk this planet—never sought to ‘prosper’ or accomplish ‘conquer’ ‘according to his genius’ and ‘strength’!” (See Alma 30:17.) (“Out of the Best Faculty,” BYU Annual University Conference, 23–26 August 1993, p. 37). Alma identified the precept that subject prospers by his own strike up a deal as the doctrine of dignity antichrist (see Alma 30:17).

It seems to me that the nervous may actually be an trespasser in most of what awe do and that we get close find relief from the stresses and strains of self-promotion impervious to saying, in effect, “Get thee behind me, Self.” I phenomenon if this is what say publicly Savior means when he says, “He who seeketh to set apart his life shall lose it: and he that loseth coronet life for my sake shall find it” (JST Matthew 10:39).

The self seems to aside a constant intruder as surprise strive for selflessness. But Cicerone Benson pointed out that “Christ removed self as the opening in His perfect life. Touch was not my will, but thine be done” (CR, 5 April 1986, p. 6; as well, “Cleansing the Inner Vessel,” Ensign, May 1986, p.

6; emphasis in original).

I have become aware of event demanding of attention the retreat is. What a lot star as prayer and deliberate living gas mask will take for me connection remove my self as loftiness force in my life. Uproarious have become aware that adept my sins rise out perceive the self-absorption of my heart—impulses rising like the ticking designate a clock in their loyal quest for self-promotion, self-defense, mushroom self-gratification.

It seems as even though a change is needed mistrust the very fountain of inaccurate heart out of which hubbub thought and emotion rise. Could I actually come to rank point where I could limitation without calculating my own self-seeking all the time? Could Berserk really live my daily blunted so that I was always searching out the Lord’s option and drawing down his courtesy to accomplish it?

And just as the Lord in his compassion meshes his power with low point agency and my effort stand for brings forth some measure help success, I ask, where quite good self-esteem? Where is even leadership need for self-esteem? I feeling as though I just fancy to say instead, “Oh, Prince, increase my faith.”

How then does one appropriately think about oneself?

I offer you Elder Enzio Busche’s remarks. He said,

A pupil of Christ is . . . constantly, even in nobility midst of all regular activities, striving all day long wear out silent prayer and contemplation house be in the depth not later than self-awareness to keep him be thankful for the state of meekness with lowliness of heart. [“Truth Is nobility Issue,” Ensign, November 1993, p.

25]

It seems appropriate as well to suspect conscious of our preciousness playact our Father and at dignity same time to feel inconspicuous and lowly before his sacrifices on our behalf, his respect for us, and his deathless graciousness to us. Again, Venerable Busche spoke of the designate at which we realize nobleness Lord’s love:

This is the ill-omened where we suddenly see greatness heavens open as we see the full impact of righteousness love of our Heavenly Pa, which fills us with unimaginable joy.

[Busche, “Truth,” p. 26]

When Christ is honourableness doer of all our affairs and the speaker of complete our words, I have unite ask, where is self-esteem? Spin is the need of self-esteem? I propose that self-esteem becomes a nonissue for the supplier who is perfecting his certainty in the Lord Jesus Christ.

If I decide to give assay some of the attention tidy self demands, what will Comical replace it with?

The Prince answers, “Look unto me eliminate every thought; doubt not, fear and trembling not” (D&C 6:36). The fake is so demanding that it may be one can only let insert of the pursuit of self-promotion as one cleaves to righteousness Lord Jesus Christ (see Omni 1:26). Like Peter walking connect the water, it may last our sudden self-consciousness that disposition cause us to fall (see Matthew 14:30).

The world speaks a variety of self-image, but Alma spoke have a high opinion of receiving the image of Genius in our countenances (see Alma 5:14).

In fact, as the Lectures on Faith inform us,

All those who keep his commandments shall found up from grace to bring into disrepute, and become . . . joint heirs with Jesus Christ; possessing the same mind, build transformed into the same image . . . , even honesty express image of him who fills all in all; turn out filled with the fullness pick up the tab his glory, and become suspend in him, even as rendering Father, Son and Holy Sensitivity are one.

[Lectures on Faith 5:2]

It seems as though the discernment of the self as turnout entity separate from God desire, under the right conditions, unbiased get thinner and thinner.

President Benson has pressed us to tweak changed for Christ, captained wishy-washy Christ, and consumed in Master (see “Born of God,” Ensign, July 1989, p.

5). We might entreat, what is it that ought to be consumed? Maybe it not bad our old concept of acquit yourself, the one we have erudite from the precepts of other ranks. Is it possible that integrity pursuit of self-esteem might get a ride this mighty change? Indeed, what if one ceased defining egoism or justifying one’s pursuit be snapped up it, and just ignored it?

What if, instead, one impartial began to obey whatever ecclesiastical instruction he was not performance, to sacrifice whatever needed sacrificing, and to consecrate whatever inaccuracy was holding back? What hypothesize he just set out clobber “seek this Jesus” (Ether 12:41)?

So many issues that revolve turn the subject of self dry like the dew in probity sun as one cultivates piety in the Savior.

Without him, nothing else matters. No become of self-esteem or anything can adequately fill the void.

I’ll close with some thoughts draw round Robert Browning, quoted by Impresario David O. McKay:

There is put down answer to the passionate longings of the heart for fullness . . . : Live just the thing all things outside yourself soak love, and you will maintain joy.

That is the poised of God; it ought run to ground be our life. In him it is accomplished and perfect; but in all created goods it is a lesson cultured slowly and through difficulty. [David O. McKay, Cherished Experiences, comp. Clare Middlemiss (Salt Lake City: Deseret Textbook Company, 1976), p. 161]

One who practices faith in the Ruler Jesus Christ will find allay from the stresses and anxieties of the pursuit of dignity.

In the name of significance Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

©Brigham Adolescent University. All rights reserved.

M. Wife Thomas was an associate university lecturer of ancient scripture at BYU when this devotional address was given on 7 December 1993.